Just a Rough Day

Hannah is doing ok but tonight is the fourth night in a row that she has asked to go to bed around 11pm. The first two nights I was very grateful for the "alone time" but last night I got really upset because I can see her body starting to get more & more tired from her illness. I have to think that after 5 months of low numbers her body is just exhausted from working overtime pumping oxygen through her body, fighting infections & clotting blood.

I have been so emotional today.

No, actually I have been a basket case.

My head hurts from the crying & my lack of sleep.

Jim & I talked about the next step & what kind treatment path to take. We are scheduled for a follow up visit at the NIH on June 15th, our 13 year anniversary, of all days. Honestly, there are not a lot of options but we are going to look into every possibility before we make a firm decision on what to do for Hannah. I think we are all realizing that most likely this first ATG treatment is not going to do the job for remission. Of course we are hoping & praying it will but we are gearing up for the next stage of what might be on this journey of Aplastic Anemia.

On a totally separate note -- my sweet 12 year old nephew has a pre-op appointment tomorrow for surgery that he will have on Thursday to remove a tumor. This whole thing with him is totally out of the nowhere (don't I know about that!!). I feel so bad for my mom who is out here to support us & now she is away from my sister, Rachel, in Philadelphia while she goes through this week of emotional hell. Please pray for my sweet nephew David & for my sister's family: Rachel, Gordon, David (12) & Sarah (14). David has Type I Diabetes & truly is the most tender-hearted pre-teen guy out there.


It has just blown my mind how the Lord has blessed us on this difficult journey. Tonight I had so many encouraging emails ... thank you, dear friends .. I also had this prayer that my college roommate.

"Lord, I just pray for Deb and her precious family right now. They are so precious to so many of us and I ask for your mercy on Hannah's little body. Please restore her, heal her and revive her body. I know you are more than capable and I make that request to you now. Lord, please provide Jim and Deb with the strength they need -- physical, mental and spiritual and may those around them fill in the gaps. God, you are so amazing and your love is unending. I ask that you provide little blessings for Deb this very day as she watches over Hannah. Blessings of encouragement and strength, peace, comfort and inner joy that only you can provide. We love you Lord, and may you give us all what we are lacking -- you make us whole. Protect my friend and her family. I love you Lord and I praise your name, Amen."

Thank you, Lord, for the prayers of so many! Thank you for the reminder tonight that YOU ARE GOOD. This situation is not good but YOU ARE GOOD.