Psalm 23

The above scrapbook page is a picture of my mom & Hannah walking down the hall in the hospital at NIH. The verses from Psalm 23 are what the Lord brought to my mind as I was making my tea on the morning of December 1st. That was about 2 hours before we went to the doctor's office to have Hannah checked to figure out why she had bruises all over her body. I just had a pit in my stomach that morning that something was terribly wrong with Hannah & truly the Lord brought these verses to my mind & I just sensed His Peace overcome my fear.

Yesterday I was so weepy. I guess after a 6 week game of "hospital hokie-pokie" it is normal. I also think it was just a combination of so many emotions: being discharged from the hospital .... Lily being sick while we were home and she couldn't be home with us.....being re-admitted so soon to the hospital .... seeing Hannah endure so much on Tuesday night (that was just horrific!!). Plus, I think I am just realizing that the road to recovery for Aplastic Anemia is a very, very, very, very L--O--N--G and very, very, very, very S--L--O--W process.

I know I can trust the Lord with ALL of my breaking heart. None of this is a surprise to God. He isn't scrambling around in panic trying to figure out why Hannah has Aplastic Anemia. HE knows it all! He has EACH of my days, Hannah's days and ALL of our days specifically numbered. I can fully, totally trust Him. He hasn't abandoned me. He is my Comfort ... He is my Strength ... and praise God, through this trial, He has been my moment to moment EVERYTHING!!!

Yesterday when I went home I saw that a friend had sent her husband's landscape crew over to our place to plant flowers in the front planter...WOW?! Then, when I went to the backyard I thought I was in the wrong place -- our entire backyard was cleaned up -- palm trees cut, bushes trimmed, leaves raked & even some flowers planted!!! I just couldn't believe it!!!!! I called my friend & could barely say thank you because I was crying so much. Poor thing, I made her cry & she was in the middle of the grocery store ... sorry, Wendy!!!! :-) I know flowers & cut palm trees are not going to make Hannah better but it really did so much to lift my spirits on what was one of the hardest days for me! Wendy, I hope when you hand out paychecks to "the guys" you tell them that their work this week literally made a difference in some one's life -- please, please thank them from me!!!

As of today, sweet Lily is officially 16 months old!!!!!! Happy 16 month birthday, sweet Lily!!!! I love you so, so, so, so much & my heart just is breaking to be away from you! I know you will never have memories of this time ....all you will know is that you were loved ... thank you, Lord, for the amazing gift of love that Lily is getting each day!!!

All God's best from Kaiser Fontana with my sleeping Hannah .....



P.S. I can't keep track of everything that people have sent, have done, have said or have been for me .... but it is just amazing!!! Please know if I don't thank you on this blog it is not because I don't appreciate every ounce of effort you have made to send me a text, email, voicemail, bring a meal, mail a package, send a card, etc., etc. .... I am soooo thankful & I apologize for not responding to all emails ,text messages, voice mails -- I just can't ... but please keep them coming, they mean so much to me!!!!













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